WARNING: This post is much meaner than any of my other posts. So, if you don't want to read a mean post stop reading. Also I mention sex. If that grosses you out stop reading.
I would like to respond to something some idiot wrote. Yes, I said idiot and I will say it again. Idiot. This person is obviously tremendously insecure about the fact that she is not married, and feels the need to defend that by attacking people who are married. She is only 22, she does not by any means need to be married, but if others are, clearly they are in the wrong.
I have nothing against people who aren't married, especially people under the age of 23. My very best friend is 24, she isn't married. She decided instead to graduate from law school and kick butt in the world. She isn't any more or less important than me. But, if she had decided to get married she may have never finished law school and go on to do the things she is about to do. I am not attacking her choice. I support it and celebrate it, because we need all sorts of people in the world.
This writer lists 23 other things you should de before you are 23, rather than getting engaged or married.
I got engaged when I was 20 years old. I got married when I was 21. It was and continues to be awesome. I would do it again in a heartbeat.
I will now address some of the things she wrote. (Here comes the mean part):
"Because at the age of 22, I have no idea who I am, what I’m doing, and who I’ll be doing it with for the next year… let alone for the rest of my life. And that’s awesome.
Some day, I want to get married too. I want a floor length dress with a ton of cleavage. I want it to be in Asia, with Ethiopian food, and a filthy scotch selection to calm my nerves when I inevitably start to panic and hyperventilate. But WANT and NEED are two entirely different things. I NEED to develop MY dreams and MYSELF before I can truly be the type of woman you WANT to marry."
I am 23, I do know who I am and I do know what I am doing and who I'll be doing it with next year and for the rest of my life. And that is even more awesome. Also, if you are expecting to need to drink scotch before you can walk down the aisle PLEASE DO NOT GET MARRIED. Lastly, some of us just don't need as long to develop our dreams and ourselves. Life changes and perhaps one day I will have a different favorite cereal and maybe I will drink 2% milk instead of 1%. But, I do know myself and I know the things I want to do. You, are just slow about it.
I have begun to notice a common thread amongst all these young unions: inexperience. Inexperience with dating, traveling, risks, higher education, career direction, SEX, solitude, religious exploration, etc… and it’s insane that I have already experienced more of the world in the last 22 years than my married peers will ever experience in their life.
Yeah, I am so bummed out I don't ever get to experience what it is like to have an STD. As far as the other things go... I traveled to Asia multiple times and plan to travel again. (Is there some rule that you can't travel after you are married?) According to you getting married IS a risk. I finished college, after I was married. (Again, no rule against that) I spend a lot of time alone. I know my religion and don't care to "explore" other religions. That has nothing to do with being married. Lastly, married people do have sex, good sex. So, I am not sure why I would need to have prior "experience".
I can’t help but feel like a lot of these unions are a cop-out.
It is a way for young people to hide behind a significant other instead of dealing with life’s highs and lows on their own. It’s a safety blanket. It’s an admission that the world is just too big and scary to deal with it on your own; thus, you now have someone that is legally obligated to support you till one of you dies or files for divorce.
They very well may be. I'm sure some are. But, having someone who will love you no matter what can help you deal with things you would never have been able to deal with before. I know that I have been able to deal with the world much more bravely, knowing that when I come home there will be someone there loving me and giving me strength and courage. So, there is a very good chance I can accomplish much more than you ever can.
If your love is truly eternal, what’s the rush? If it’s real, that person will continue to be committed to you 2 months from now, 2 years from now, and 2 decades from now. Grow, learn, travel, party, cuddle, read, explore. Do. Freaking. Something… other than “settle down” at 23 with a white picket fence.
I am married. I grow, learn, travel, party, cuddle read, explore and do stuff. One thing I have not done is got myself a picket fence. It is absolutely idiotic to think that you can't do these things when married. I mean, read? Seriously? No hunny, no reading allowed in this marriage. I get to do all those things with my husband, if I want. Also, married people have sex. (Like I mentioned before) It is a well known fact that married people have the best sex. I don't think I need to say anything more about that.
Sure. Some days I wake up and stare at my ceiling thinking: “I’m single as f***.” But then I realize that those friends are going to get knocked up and fat soon sssoooo in retrospect, who really is winning here? I’m in China. I’m having the best time of my life. I am responsible for my own happiness.
Who is winning? I am going to answer that question with a picture.
I am having the best time of my life too. (Although from your obvious insecurity it is pretty obvious you are not having that great of a time.)
Now here is her list of great things to do. I think these are supposed to be better than getting married young, and I think you are supposed to do them first. They are pretty hilarious.
1. Get a passport.
I did that when I was 13. Next.
2. Find your "thing".
I mean, are you trying to sound stupid?
My thing is marriage. I found it.
3. Make out with a stranger.
Lets go back to the STD thing. I make out with my husband enough.
4. Adopt a pet.
I did that. Also, I have had pets my entire life. Nothing really new or exciting about that.
5. Start a band.
I honestly cannot think of anything I want to do less than start a band.
6. Make a cake. Make a second cake. Have your cake and eat it too.
Honestly, if you have not already made a cake by 23 you are missing something.
7. Get a tattoo, it's more permanent than marriage.
Yeah, because no one ever regrets those.
8. Explore a new religion.
Is this something people just "do"? I'm good, thanks.
9. Start a small business.
Ok, I might want to do this less than start a band. It's close though.
10. Cut your hair.
Cut my hair? Ok. That is really the best you have?
11. Date two people at once and wait to see how long it takes to blow up in your face.
This is quite literally the stupidest thing I have ever heard. Cause this sounds super fun. Maybe then I will put out my toenails. Sounds just about as fun.
12. Build something with your hands.
Does my derby car from 2nd grade count?
13. Accomplish a Pinterest project.
I did this with my baby's footprints in clay. Oops, that involved my lame, life stopping baby.
14. Join the Peace Corps.
I'm going to be a social worker. WAY harder.
15. Disappoint your parents.
I would ever try to disappoint my parents. They have sacrificed and given so much for me. The last thing I want to do is disappoint them. Also, if I am disappointing them it is because I am doing something wrong.
16. Watch Girls over and over again.
What is it that you think married people do? I have watched more TV since I have been married than I did in the 21 years before. I will watch what shows I want to watch. This isn't really one of them.
17. Eat a jar of nutella in one sitting.
Weren't you just telling me how all your married friends were going to get fat soon? Well, looks like you will too. Also, I think I have come pretty close to this.
18. Make strangers feel uncomfortable in public places.
Have a baby. Nurse said baby in public. Works like a charm.
19. Sign up for CrossFit.
HA.HA.HA
20. Hangout naked in front of a window.
I have actually come closer to this than you might think.
21. Write your feelings down in a blog.
Ok.
22. Be selfish.
I struggle with that enough, I don't need to shoot for more.
23. Come with me to the Philippines for Chinese new year.
Before I was dating Matt I hated new year. Now it is one of my favorite days. Crazy how the person you love does that.
Alright... I am done. Rant over. So, I tried to not be too mean. She may not even be an idiot. The truth is, this person has radically different ethics and morals than I do. Perhaps I would think the same thing if I had lived her life and had her background. But, I don't. I just find it funny she is telling people not to do something that she hasn't actually ever done. She, in reality, has no idea what it is like to be married. She doesn't know how awesome it is to spend your life with your best friend, knowing it never has to end. If she did know what that was like, I guarantee she would not be telling other people to avoid it. So, moral of the story is... don't tell people how bad and horrible something is when you have never actually experienced it. You have no idea what it is like.
It is awesome.
And again, married people have the best sex.
